Isa’s Ba-Log

20 January 2006, 9:18a

Was reading the online papers and came across a depressing article in the Manila Times. The title is "GMA urges more supply of RP nurses". Here’s an excerpt:

The country’s "brain drain," caused by the strong employment abroad of nurses and doctors, is compensated by their considerable dollar remittances to the country," President Arroyo said during her Wednesday interaction with the media at the municipal hall here.

"The drain I would say is more than compensated by the fact that the Filipinos who went abroad keep sending remittances home. With their remittances, the education capacity of their families is enhanced," she said. (I’ve got this in red because I was seeing red as I read the article.)

Duh!

Omigosh…is this woman even thinking before speaking? Ok, I know she has a tendency not to (which explains why she is frequently "na-ku-kuryente"), but it makes me wonder if she understood what she was saying? No wonder this country is spiralling downwards. So, in effect, what she’s saying is it’s okay for us to send our best minds, best carers abroad, so long as they keep sending their money back home. Okay, sure they do send money, but hasn’t she realized that in most cases, those who leave eventually send for their family (to whom they send their hard-earned money) to join them? What then? Who will they send the money to? Those dollar remittances will eventually dwindle.

And even if they do keep sending heaps and heaps of dollars to the country, what about the rest of the people who are here. Unfortunately, despite the economic recovery pronouncements of the government, your average Juan and Juana de la Cruz aren’t heaping the benefits. And I don’t think remittances will solve the country’s problems (graft and corruption is up there on top). Such a short-sighted view from a woman who is supposed to be a brilliant economist. I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking that life in the Philippinnes certainly isn’t as good as it used to be (even compared to just a few years ago).

And what’s this with "the education capacity of their families is enhanced"? Doesn’t she know that it is not only nurses and doctors that are in exodus, but teachers too (and even those in other lines of work, except for movie stars and politicians)? The very people who are supposed to be educating our youths are packing up and going. Has she not noticed that the quality of education in the country is shot? Even the teachers at expensive, quality, private schools are taking jobs abroad! Good education gets more expensive each year, and yet the people teaching are becoming less and less competent. Oh sure, I know there are still great teachers out there, but they are declining in number.

But really, to read that the country’s president is actually advocating the we train more nurses and doctors (and perhaps she also was thinking of teachers) so they can leave and then send dollars back home is sickening. So, who’s going to take care of the sick here at home? Who’s going to teach the ones left here at home? Has she thought about that?

GMA is supposed to be a brain, but I’m beginning to think that her brain has really been drained, and drained to the last drop.

That brings me to another, somewhat related article I read this morning, this time in Manila Standard Today. It’s by Maya Baltazar Herrera and titled "Kites". In it she told of friends who are leaving the country for good, then goes on to discuss the reasons why some people leave the Philippines and some stay. Some people leave because they want to, some leave because they have to. These days, I think more people are leaving because they feel they have to. Even the two examples she cited for wanting to leave reflects the lack of opportunity here in the Philippines (brother who left to get an IT job and friend in medical research).

I cannot count in my hands the number of friends and relatives that have left the Philippines to seek better opportunities abroad, and found them. And more will follow, I’m sure. Even now, a number of them are in the process of migrating. My brother and his family has left the country, and while the reason is not simply economics (although it is a big part), I can’t blame them. I miss them terribly, but I know they’ve got better chances there for a better life. My nephews, one of whom is autistic, stand to have better education where they are now and they’re getting better social services. Yeah, homesickeness is the only downside, but thanks to the internet, we are able to keep in close touch. Take homesickness away, and I think they’re doing great.

I can’t blame the people who have upped and left the country. I’ve considered it myself every now and then (I’m actually in the "now" period at the moment). After all, I really don’t see anything good to look forward to in the future here in the Philippines. As a single mother, I keep thinking that if I’m to give my son a good life, I may need to look offshore. Somehow though, something is holding me back. Part of it is I don’t want to leave my father behind, but I know there are other reasons. Ms Herrera says it well for me. She says that she has given easy answers whenever asked about why she stays in the country:

"’As long as I am in the Philippines, I contribute at some level to the nation and its people. If I leave, then I don’t.’ ‘I like being near friends and family.’ ‘I don’t think I would survive in the rat race.’ ‘I really like having maids’. The reality is that many people who reside outside the country continue to send money back. The reality is that my friends and family are in such places as Sydney and Vancouver and Hamburg and Springfield and Los Angeles and Singapore and Hong Kong. The reality is that Manila has its own rat race and there are places even in North America that are more laid back in the Philippines…The reality, I suppose, is that I just like life better here."

That is true for me. My complaints notwithstanding, I generally like my life here, and I’m sure many others who have left to work abroad did too (It’s hard to imagine why anyone in his/her right mind would leave home, family, and friends to try their luck in a strange and what possibly could be a hostile environment unless they feel they need to). Unfortunately, sometimes, you have to sacrifice what you like for more long-term benefits. With the way things are going, I tend to think more and more about the possibility of leaving. It makes me wonder how long I can convince myself that my life is here and not elsewhere.

08 January 2006, 10:08p

Today, I lost a very dear and close uncle. He is the husband of my mother’s sister. I saw him last in 2003, when he came to the Philippines when his own mother died.

He’s not a blood relative, but he was a very good person to me. He helped take care of me when I was recovering from a surgery many years ago. Anyway, all the time that I was away from my own father and family, he made a great substitute, and he always made me feel like I was another daughter.

I feel sad that I won’t be able to say goodbye personally, but somehow, I’m comforted by the fact that he’s in a better and more peaceful place now. And I’m also somehow glad that my last sight of him was a good one. He was smiling and waving goodbye after we gave him a ride home during his last visit in Manila. I will remember that smile, always…

04 January 2006, 12:04p

The new year has started, and traditionally there are supposed to be resolutions right? Well, I don’t know how good I’ll be at resolutions, but I think I’ve got a few fixes for year in the pipeline.

Time management comes first. I’ve really got to budget my time properly. I don’t want to go take classes on time management though, so I’m going to give it an amateurish go. My plan is to actually have a to-do list daily. Sounds tedious…yup, but I figured if I could really get my time organized that way, then things should fall into place. A bit optimistic, you say? My reply is I’ve got to start somewhere, and that seems as good a start as any. So, I’ll budget my time, and hopefully, that’ll help me to plan quality time for Ben, who happens to be central to my next fix.

More quality time spent with Ben. What is quality time anyway? I treasure the time I spend with my son, but for the most part, it’s really just play time and sleep time. I want to be able to do things with him that really matters. We’ve got a trip to Baguio with friends planned for end of this month, and then in February, we’ve got a Hong Kong trip to look forward to. But more than just taking trips, I want to be able to sit down with him and listen to him and just be there for him. We’ll do more activities together this year, I’ll make sure of that.

Then comes exercise. I really should’ve been doing this a long, long, long, long (get the picture?) time ago. Well, I’ve cut down on my carbs, I think, but I really do want to be healthy now. I know I’m not getting any younger, and with my family history and all, keeping myself healthy is a must. So, I will walk again (calling any potential walking buddies :-D), and then do some other activities I used to do, like maybe bike again (poor bike is rusting outside), and lift some dbells again, and then, I really need to get going on those regular badminton games I’ve been planning for so long with my friend Jenny.

Save, save, save. Okay, so I’ve been trying for the longest time to save, especially with Ben around, and have been unsuccessful. But this year, I really, really will. I’m going to do away with the plastic usage, and while I may not be able to do this abruptly, definitely by the end of the year, I will make sure I’ve gotten rid of them. Wishful thinking maybe, but I’ll just leave 1-2 for emergency purposes. I will do my best to stay away from unnecessary expenses (goodbye CDs, DVDs, and books) and basically set a limit as to how much I will spend for myself. I will do this!!! I will, I will!!!

Then, I will do my best to improve my work. They always need improving, as well as my work habits. I’m still trying to figure out how to do this properly, but I will definitely be more of a workaholic (relatively) this year.

Come end of 2006, when (or rather, if) I look back at this particular blog entry, I hope I can give myself a pat on the back.

27 December 2005, 2:09p

It’s cool to be online in Baler, and actually not to be paying for my internet usage. Good thing my Kuya Boy has decided to get his office connected to cyberspace. Now I can just hog his computer while I’m here and not have to pay for anything.

As usual, the trip home was difficult, but well worth it. Nice and cool here, a welcome change from the Manila weather. Although, the past week, it’s been rather wet here in Baler. The only time it didn’t rain was on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Apparently, there is a low pressure area somewhere east of the Visayas that’s affecting the weather here. I only hope it gets sunnier soon because I want to go to the beach before heading back to Manila.

We had quite a few visits last Christmas Day from kids. I got visits from my godchildren (didn’t realize there were quite a few of them), and it made me realize just how old I am. I don’t normally bother, but seeing how grown up some of them drove home the point that yes, I am getting older and older, and the years are zooming faster and faster. Weird how when I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to get older and now that I am older, I kind of look back longingly to those old days. Ok, I’ve got to stop this, or I’ll get depressed.

I’ve actually been doing some work while I’m here, although in between work, I’ve been answering the questions from this book a friend of mine gave me. It’s called The Little Book of Stupid Questions. Some questions are quite stupid but others are pretty interesting. Some are really difficult to answer though.

Oh well, I gotta put someone to bed for his afternoon nap now, so we’ll be heading home. I’ll see if I can upload another post before I go back to Manila.

18 December 2005, 6:25p

In three days time, I’ll be heading home to Baler. Am so looking forward to that trip. Sure, I’m taking some work home, but on the whole, I’ll have a grand R&R time while there. I only hope it won’t be raining much.

It’ll be another 8 hours on the road, more than half of it spent winding through rough and steep roads in the Sierra Madres, but that has never really bothered me. The trip’s always worth it. I guess because Baler is where I feel I belong the most. Life is slow and easy. No malls, no movie theaters, just beach and mountains. I prefer the rivers and mountains myself, though, where it’s nice and cooler. I don’t travel much during evenings, but I loved it most when I traversed the mountains at night. Dark and beatiful, cool and serene. This time of the year is always the longest I stay at home. Almost two weeks…that is life.

I don’t really know if I like the fact that people are starting to discover Baler. Somehow, if it becomes a big tourist spot, I think it’ll lose the magic for me. Fortunately, while there have been increased interest, it’s still nothing like the other tourist areas in the Philippines. That I’m thankful for. Kind of selfish, I know, I mean increased arrival would spur economic activities there, which is certainly needed, but I don’t know…

Whatever…right now, I’m just looking forward to going home…

12 December 2005, 9:03pm

I don’t know how others feel, but somehow, I think this year’s Christmas isn’t going to rank among my favorites. It’s almost mid-December–the big day is less than a couple of weeks away–and I still don’t feel Christmassy. I mean I’ve done some shopping, but I’m still way too far from being finished, and I’m not really panicking. In previous years, I’d be panicking even before December rolls in.

So, why the blues? Money, that’s one reason, or the lack thereof. Ok, so it’s not like I haven’t got any cent left. But somehow, I feel so poor this year, and I’ve never felt like this before. I’m not even halfway through getting presents for my family and friends, and I feel like my pocket is all drained. My fault really, but geez…I really need to do some serious budgeting this coming year. Hah! Let me see myself do that. That would be a miracle…:-D

The other reason I can’t really pinpoint. You know that feeling when you know there’s something bothering you only you can’t exactly figure out what. That feeling has been lingering for a while now, and it gets me p***sed off because I can’t figure it out. I mean I got it partly figured out, but not entirely, and I feel like the only way I’m going to ever feel better about it is when I do finally figure the whole thing out. Which is somewhat of a Catch-22 because to finally figure out the whole thing I gotta figure out entirely what’s bothering me. Oh what the heck…

Lest everyone think I’m all out of the Christmas spirit though, I did join some friends for a nice dinner and funny DVDs last Saturday. And we’ve got a trip to Baguio planned for the last week of January. That’s something I’m really looking forward to, because I miss Baguio. I’ll be bringing Ben along, and this will be his first time there.

Speaking of Ben, thank God for my baby.

11 November 2005, 12:04am

Okay, okay. I’m still up, transcribing an interview which I should have done ages ago. The bad news is, there are more taped interviews to follow. I have really got to get my groove going on my work, especially since I’ve been given more responsibilities. But as usual, there call of other more important, though not as economically viable, things to do kept me from getting my editorial work done. Geez, will I ever learn.

To top it off, I have a seminar to cover tomorrow, so precious time that could be spent transcribing tapes will be spent listening to pig and chicken people talk about pig and chicken topics. Oi, what a day it’s going to be…

I figured I’d get everything I need to get done this weekend and have the stuff sent to my boss by Monday. Can I actually do it? Tune in…

05 November 2005, 11:12a

Am back online again in Manila. We got back from Baler last night around 830p. It was a long and tiring trip. We left Baler around 12p and the roads were just horrible in the first half of the trip. Ben was worried we’d get stuck in the mountains. But all went well and we got back safely.

The vacation home was okay, unfortunately, it was pretty much raining the whole time we were there. The sun only started to come out yesterday, and by then we were on the way back. We weren’t able to go the beach, although we did drop by Biklat River, Ben’s favorite.

Because of the rain we were only able visit Mama, Tata, and the rest of the our departed dears for a few minutes. We weren’t even able to light candles because of rains. I’ll just go and visit again when we go home this Christmas.

Oh well, it’s back to work, some of which I did try to get done while in Baler. Of course, that wasn’t a major success. I managed to get a few paragraphs going, and that was it. I need to get going, since I’ve been promoted editor of one of our magazines. Gotta get my act together for sure.

28 October 2005, 8:11p

I got my monthly fee today and actually held it in my hands for a couple of hours…and now it’s dwindled to almost nothing after I paid all the bills that were waiting to be paid. That’s the story of my life. I’ve never been good with money…ok, well that depends on one’s point of view I guess. I mean I’ve never been good at holding on to money. I always find ways to spend, he he he…

So I just found out that we won’t be going to Baler until early Sunday morning. And I was so looking forward to going home. On the other hand, there is some good that came out of the delay: I can get some of the editing work I need to finish done…I hope.

I’m feeling weird these days. It’s difficult to pinpoint why, but I think I have a fairly good idea what the main reason is. I need to get it out of my mind.

27 October 2005, 4:37p

Since I’m having trouble changing the date and time of my posts in this blog (it’s western hemisphere time, I think), I decided to put date and time my blogs here.

Well, I’m breathing a bit easier now. Just finished my last article this morning, so I can relax a bit. That doesn’t mean I don’t have other work to do, but since writing is my most mental task, getting two articles done in a span of three days is good. Now, I will edit the next issue. I’ve got some more articles to write, but they’re not feature stories so they should be a bit easier (I hope). I’ve been having major writer’s block for some time. Whoever gave me the idea that I was a writer anyway.

I’m also preparing for the trip home to Baler this weekend. I so look forward to going home. Spending a few days home would be real good. But I need to get back here by the 4th of November because I’ve got to meet with Ben’s teachers on the 5th.

I’m hungry. I think I’ll go have my merienda now.